Day 59: Anthropological Field Journal, Day 6

Due to a lack of Internet connection for a few days (I know, I didn't think that was possible either, but apparently it is), I was unable to publish this post on its original date.  It is from Saturday, November 27.

I arose early to head to the gym today.  I arrived at about 6:00 am and checked in. 

As I am changing, I enjoy the soft music playing in the locker room.  Honestly, it is the most soothing music I have ever heard.  It is mainly Vivaldi, but other soft classical music from other composers--seemingly inspired by nature--is also played as I change.  As I am in the locker room, I think to myself, this is what it was like when the Greeks worked out.  The Greeks, as you all know, loved human form and body, and many of them worked out in their gymnasia on a daily basis.  Of course, I have no proof that they had any Vivaldi playing, but even if they didn't, I think they had birds and trickling streams to help them out. 

Anyway, while I am listening to the music (and forgetting that I am there to work out, not to listen to a classical music concert), I start thinking about how chiseled and well formed those Greek gods were.  Just to give you a sense of how much these guys must have worked out, here are a few examples of how they may have looked (the first represents a much more classical view than the second).

This is Poseidon, God of the Ocean and Water.  Notice the well developed bicep and tricep, as well as abdomen.  Personally, I think he needs a little pec work, but who am I to criticize a Greek God?



This is Zeus, King of the Gods, in toy form.  I have no idea if, in reality, he was this tan, and I have no idea why he has no pupils. 

Anyway, as I am thinking about the Greek Gods, I realize that if I want to be like one of them, I have to start working out.  I walk out of the locker room to the work out area.  As soon as the locker room door opens and I walk out to the work out area, the music changes.  I am greeted by the blasting of perhaps the most obnoxious music I have ever heard.  The lyrics, many of which are simply to obscene to mention on this G-rated (okay, maybe PG-rated) blog, refer, I think, to mainly sex and money.  Honestly, I really don't understand the modern lingo surrounding sexual innuendo, so I really am not sure. 

Here are a few of the seriously inane lines from some of these songs (many of them I simply cannot reproduce here):

"I really want to be a billionaire."  Oh really, you really want to be a billionaire?  Come on, what kind of song is that anyway?  Who on earth doesn't want to be a billionaire? 

"I want to lick your face."  Honestly, I have no idea why anyone would want to lick anyone else's face--especially at the gym.  Do you know how unhygienic that is?  It is simply disgusting.

There are others, but having written the above two down, I have gotten myself so worked up I can't remember them.  Just know that there are worse ones out there than those.  
By the time I finish my work out, I am not happy about the musical selection that has been used on the workout floor, and I am in a bad mood.  That is when I re-enter the sanctuary that is the locker room.  The soft music is audible once more when the door to the locker room closes.  It is quiet, serene.  I am happy.  I get myself ready for the day, my thoughts returning to the Greek Gods.  As I look up, changing, I catch myself in the mirror and have a terrible thought.  Perhaps I already look like a Greek God, but just not the right one.  Yes folks, Dionysus, the God of Wine (and Ritual Madness and a few other things), as seen below in this famous picture by Peter Paul Rubens.

This guy did NOT work out to beautiful music, but he did know how to throw a great party. 

Obviously, this thought gets me down.  (And, NO, it is not because I am not surrounded by nude women who pour drinks for me or small, male cherubs who urinate on the ground during blissful moments such as this.)  

I finish getting ready and walk out of the gym, mad at the fact that they have any music playing at all.  But then, a little known fact dawns on me.  Something that I learned from a course I took on ancient Greek history.  I smile, my thought almost returning me to that happy state I was in when I first got to the gym.  Sure, I may not look like Zeus or Poseidon, but guess what? Some Greeks worshipped Zeus, and some Greeks worshipped Poseidon, but EVERY Greek worshipped Dionysus.  He was, after all, the life of the party.