So, I have been thinking a little more about my comments yesterday about how difficult it has been lately not to snack on things. I think I should be more clear: my snacking has not been a big deal every day, but the few days that I do snack, I have found that it has cascaded into a pretty big problem. I think I have taken on this view that if I screw up a little bit, then there is no point and I should just give in to all of my temptations. I know that this sounds a bit crazy, but that is what I seem to be doing.
Fortunately, I have not allowed this to extend beyond a single day. For example, last Friday, I woke up hungry, and despite everything I could do, I remained hungry until I went to bed. I snacked on these little Andes mints we got for our girls' advent calendar, I snacked on a little piece of cake, I snacked on cheese. Honestly, the entire time I thought, "I can't do this. I have to stop." But, it didn't seem to make much of a difference because I just kept going. On Saturday, though, I ended up doing pretty well.
This is a good thing. I mean, at least I haven't just given up on the diet completely, I am just giving up on the diet sometimes. The thing is, I have these two perspectives that keep fighting against one another. One perspective is very hopeful. It is the part of me that has seen a lot of changes in my life, sees the weight I have lost and thinks that I can still finish the job I have started. The other perspective is a little cynical. It looks at what I have done, acknowledges that it is great, but can't imagine me looking any better than I do now.
I have always had these dual personalities, but for some reason, this diet has quelled that side of me that doesn't want to believe I can do it. At least, it has until now. All of a sudden, my cynical side has come out with guns blazing, and I really feel depressed about the whole diet. I still have a long way to go--and I am now realizing, with three weeks left in this diet, that I am not going to get anywhere near where I want to be by the end of December. This really is a little frustrating, and I have to admit, for the first time last night, I wondered whether it was worth continuing.
2 comments:
Yes, it is worth it. It is!!! you can do it.
You just need to transition for vacation and traveling mode back into full-fledged I am doing this diet mode.
You have come so far and great progress lies ahead if you keep working, but not every week is going to be stellar. This is real life, remember?
I for one, still believe in you. Well past this first 12 weeks too. It is just the beginning.
I have to say...Jeff Merchant, "oh ye of little faith."
I am shocked. Shocked.
You have done so well. And even minor set backs have not led you to quit this diet.
I'd say that's success.
Success isn't how much you weight.
It isn't how many belt notches you have lost.
It is about changing who you are and how you deal with your trials.
Even at this point you have succeeded wildly.
And even though I totally enjoy giving you a hard time -- really, it's a highlight of my days -- you are doing this.
And doing it well.
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