Today I would like to introduce the Kate Weatherall diet. For those of you who do not know who Kate Weatherall is, I will explain. Kate, as she is affectionately referred to in our household, is a character in a highly successful book in the juvenile literature genre: The Mysterious Benedict Society. This is a book that my wife and I accidentally purchased for our daughter for Christmas.
Actually, in truth, to say we bought it accidentally is probably inaccurate. We did buy it on purpose, we just did not know the effect it would have on our daughter. The book's setup is this: four orphans are taken in by a rich philanthropist, Mr. Benedict, who has chosen each of them for their "special" abilities. One is ridiculously smart, another is very clever, the third is resourceful, and the last is ornery (don't ask why that is a special ability, I am ornery all the time but my wife does not tell me I am special because if it). Mr. Benedict has this philosophy that children are much better at solving problems than adults, so he sends them on a special mission. I won't tell you whether the mission is successful or not, but I will say it probably would not have been a best seller among the younger crowd if all of the kids ended up dead or captured.
There are three books in the series, and I have been reading them with my daughter Mia, who LOVES the books. She is particularly fond of Kate (the resourceful child), who has a bucket that she attaches to her belt to keep things in. When I say "things," I really mean the equivalent to a shed's worth of equipment, including rope, tools, two different flashlights, and about fifty other things.
A few days ago, Mia asked me if she could have a small (2.5 gallon) bucket that I had in the garage. Of course, I immediately put two and two together, but succumbed to her request, thinking it would not take long for her to realize just how uncomfortable it would be to carry around a bucket on her waist all day. Five days later, that stupid bucket is still hanging off of her side. She has piled so much stuff in it that the lid barely fits on it, and of course, nothing inside is nearly as helpful as what is in Kate's bucket. This experience (at least for me) is a lesson in why life in books is so much easier than life in the real world. Kate can run, fight, lug ladders, climb cliffs, and swim with this bucket on her hip; poor Mia is pretty hampered carrying the thing around. Yet, she is determined to continue being "prepared."
It really wasn't until she and her sister got in a fight the other day and Maggie (her sister) lunged at her in an attempt to hit her that I realized just how hard it must be to lug 40 pounds of weight on your hip all the time. Mia was agile enough to avoid the blow, but did not realize that the weight of her bucket would throw her off balance. The effect was the same as if Maggie had given Mia an sharp uppercut to the chin: the poor girl went careening through the air and landed with a dull thud on the ground. This of course spurred retaliation, but Maggie (who is quite quick) was able to easily escape as Mia lumbered after her with her bucket attachment (heaven only knows what Mia would have done to Maggie with her "tools" had she caught her, but fortunately, we will never know).
Anyway, the whole point of this story is to introduce yet another diet technique: the attachment of bucket to your waist with forty pounds of concrete in it. If you want, you can put tools in it like Mia, but remember they shift around a lot, which makes moving around loud and sometimes difficult. (Mia has been driven crazy by the fact that despite how many times she "organizes" her bucket, everything is messed up when she opens it up. Secretly, I think Mia thinks Maggie is messing the bucket up when Mia is not looking, but hasn't said anything because she can't prove it.) I suggest sticking to the forty pounds of concrete, which also serves as a great weight lifting option and as a self-defense weapon in emergency situations (far more useful than a purse).
2 comments:
Please attach your gallon of water to your waist! It will be a great source of conversation!
So, do you stick pretty tight to the menues and portions LTL has? And do you try to eat within 2-1/2 hours, or do you stretch it to 3? Also, you really are getting all your water in, aren't you? My husband is beginning this, and the water thing is a challenge. Do you follow the exercises recommended for the men, too?? THANKS! Love your site!
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