Back to the Beginning

So, I woke up this morning in a very bad mood. Dragged myself out of bed, and for the first time this summer, went out side for a real run. Two miles of pain and fatigue later, I dragged myself over to the computer, where I read the following email message: "It's been almost two months!! Update please." The email came from my blog, and was written by that ever curious "Anonymous." Ironic, I thought, that on the day I decide to get back on the proverbial wagon, someone would ask me to update the blog. As I thought about it throughout the day, I decided Anonymous was right, it is time for an update.

Have you ever seen that movie The Princess Bride? If you haven't, you have either been living under a rock the last 20 years or are uncultured swine. Get it and watch it. The book is great too, if you enjoy laughing out loud to yourself. Anyway, there is a point when the great Inigo Montoya, the expert swordsman turned drunkard turned back into expert swordsman duels the mysterious Man in Black and loses. Upon his loss, he returns to his old friend alcohol, and is later found by his better friend, the gentle giant Fezzik, in a drunken rage screaming that he has gone "back to the beginning." I thought a lot about that phase this morning, as I struggled to do what, only four months ago, was an easy jog. "Back to the beginning," I kept telling myself, "back to the beginning."

I admit, going back to the beginning is not fun. In fact, I have been more upset with myself today than I have in a long time. I have slipped back almost into all of my old pattern. Fatty meat? Yes. White bread? Yes. French fries and other fried food? Yes. "Sugar drinks" (this is what my wife calls soft drinks)? Yes. Coca-Cola Classic. No.  Yes, while I have given up on almost everything, I do have one shining ray of hope.  I have not gone back to Coke. And it is upon this little, teeny, tiny success that I intend to regain my former glory as a weight-loser instead of a weight-gainer. 

Starting back at the beginning is not fun. Especially when your someone who had so much success the first time around. Failure is not fun. Especially when you know that with a little more discipline, you would not have failed. But, it is what it is. I am humble enough to know that I have a long way to go, and that I have to go all the way back to the beginning. But, at least this time I will be an expert. I have done the hard work, I just have to do it again. And doing it again can't be that bad--I already know what is coming! So, with as much gusto and bravado as a fat man can muster, I say, "Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start."