Wishing I Was in Hawaii

So, I am sitting in my new "home office" today, listening to a little Hawaiian music and strumming my Ukulele wishing I was in Hawaii.  Then I realized that Hawaii would be a lot nicer if I looked like Brad Pitt when I went to Hawaii. (Without that ridiculous Rhett Butler mustache.  I mean seriously folks, does he honestly think he can pull off Clark Gable?  I don't think so.)  Anyway, as it is fully autumn here in Idaho, it is cooling down and all the leaves are changing.  Emily said to me yesterday as we drove down the street how pretty the colored leaves looked.  She is right, it was pretty, but instead of saying that I thought it was pretty too, I told her it was nothing like Virginia.  We both knew I was right, and my statement was kind of a kick-off to a general downer attitude I have had ever since.   

I have come to the conclusion, after a very, very long summer, that moving to a new place is both exciting and a big let down.  The change has been amazing for our kids, who despite missing their friends and old routines, have truly blossomed at their new school and are having a blast with horseback riding lessons, dance lessons, soccer, and the like.  I am enjoying the new job, but I am really missing Virginia. 

Anyway, all this nostalgia is to tell you that as I strummed the Uke I got for Christmas last year (and by the way, no, I still can't play it any better than I did last Christmas Day), I realized that while it may be true that I left my heart in Virginia, I definitely left my new body their too.  I am just furious with myself for giving in to the stress and allowing myself to gain so much weight.  I actually had to go out and buy a new belt the other day, which was just the icing on the cake. 

The worst thing is the prospect of having to work so dang hard again to get back where I was.  I have to be honestly friends, I am really scared of all the hard work.  It really overwhelms me to think that I am going to have to go through what I did last fall all over again.  The last several weeks I have been trying to get excited about Living the Life again, but it has been hard.  I read something once that said that "The pain of sacrifice lasts only one moment.  It is the fear of the pain of sacrifice that makes you hesitate to do it."  I think that is really true.  I know it is true for me.  It is the fear of pain that I am having problems with, not the pain itself.  The irony is that there really isn't much pain involved at all, it is just a little self-control and a bit of self-restraint. 

I'll tell you, though, at this point, I would be far more willing to watch some Halloween thrasher movie than face the scariness of self-control and self-restraint.  Then again, I think I would much prefer to be soaking up the sun in Hawaii looking like Brad than cowering in a corner of my office afraid to look up at a few, rather easily overcome emotions.  I mean, let's face it, I've done it before.  I don't know, maybe I should set a goal that I get to go to Hawaii once I get a BP (that is Brad Pitt, not British Petroleum) body.  What do you think?  Here is a picture to help you decide....