Day 31: Extreme Fitness, Extreme Happiness

Alright, I have a few things I have to say about the gym.  First of all, my gym is highly convenient to my place of work.  I literally am about three minutes away and simply have to go down the elevator (don't worry, I have to go down more than one flight of stairs to get there (see Day 4 and Day 5)).  

Despite the convenience, however, I do have a couple of issues with the gym.  First, when you sign up to become a member, they have these guys who engage in high-pressure salesmanship to get you to buy time with one of their personal trainers.  When I went, the salesman reminded me that I was way too fat, that I was probably diabetic, and that there was no way I could get in shape on my own.  Milo (that was the guy's name) was such a jerk that I honestly almost backed out entirely, but, like I said, the gym is very convenient.

Second, having been a member for a few months now, I am so glad I did not buy time with a personal trainer.  As I work out, I see these poor people that have gotten a personal trainer.  What a waste of money.  Milo tried to get me to buy about $4,000 worth of personal training time.  I am sure a lot of these people have paid this amount.  The problem is that the personal trainers at this gym are about as charismatic as rocks.  Seriously, every time I see one, they are just sitting around.  They are not engaged with their clients, they aren't even all that supportive.  There is this one tall and lanky guy that texts the whole time he is working with someone.  Unbelievable!  I am sure that anyone reading this blog would be a great personal trainer in comparison to this crew, except I think that the real problem is that personal trainers are a dime a dozen.  You have to be really good to make good money (and don"t worry, I know there are a lot of great personal trainers out there).

Third, they have ridiculous pictures on the wall for their new "New Music, New Moves" classes.  I know, you are thinking "What?  What does that have to do with anything."  Well, I knew you would think that, so I used my camera phone to take a few pictures of the pictures in the gym.  Technically, this is a violation of gym policy (I think they don't want people taking pictures of others, which is entirely reasonable), but I risked losing my membership to smuggle these pictures out (don't worry, I had absolutely no interest in taking pictures of any of the people at the gym, and did not do so).  Sorry about the quality, but I had to snap them fast.

Here is the first picture.  As you look at it, ask yourself, have you ever seen people in an aerobics class that looked this happy?  Even the happiest people in the world do not look THIS happy when they are working out.  I am telling you, Susan and Debra must be the best instructors ever (see the bottom left of the picture).

Here is the second picture.  I think they must be doing some kind of karate (though I prefer the Chinese "wushu") or kick boxing.  I guess these people are engaging in visualization as they do the moves.  I think the guy on the left is imagining beating up some kid that bullied him back in elementary school, the guy in the middle is completing an uppercut on his mean boss, and the lady is taking out her ex-boyfriend.  Who knew going to the gym could be THIS FUN?

Here is the third picture.  Sorry it is a bit blurry, but as I was taking it, Milo saw me.  Milo and I don't have a great relationship because I told him I thought he was being pushy when trying to sell me the personal training time.  That is when he told me I was going to fail, which was really nice of him.

Okay, here is a personal favorite.  I love all three of these people.  They are just oozing enthusiasm for whatever they are doing.  Again, the picture was blurry because at this point Milo was keeping a close eye on me.  I had to pretend to be signing up for a class with one hand while taking the picture with the other.

Okay, this is it, THE BEST PICTURE.  Let me ask you, have you ever done this weight lifting exercise?  If you have, you know that it can be painful.  I have NEVER, EVER seen anyone at the gym lifting any weight with the kind of look this lady in the middle has.  Honestly, I am not even sure that your body can physically lift weights the way this woman is and have a smile on your face at the same time.  I am convinced this is a Photoshopped picture.  You will notice how clear this photo is.  It was such a great poster, I had no choice but to take my time.  This, of course, is when Milo caught me and escorted me to the door.  Small price to pay, my friends, small price to pay.

Anyway, that's all the pictures.  I hope you enjoy them.  I see them every day as I struggle to lift weights and then climb up the stairs to the cardio area of the gym.  You may smile at them and laugh at them, but if I ever see one of the people in these pictures at the gym, I may give up on my efforts to be a pacifist and show them a little wushu of my own.