Okay, so let me start by saying that it has been a long week. My family traveled down to Salt Lake City this last weekend to be with my family as we held the funeral for my wonderful Aunt Judy. I spoke with two of my Aunt's siblings, then we all traveled down to Manti, Utah, where she was buried next to her daughter, who died shortly after being born.
This last week is the two month mark of being sugar-free, but as you probably deduced from the title of this post, things went terribly wrong. Literally on the eve of the two month mark, my wife presented me with a challenge I simply could not resist: chocolate cupcakes with a chocolate mousse "frosting." I suppose Melanie is in part to blame as well, because I think she gave my wife the recipe for this terrible creation. Anyway, my wife made these cupcakes, and after literally about four hours of resistance, I just could not do it any longer. I gave in.
Yes, I am a weakling. I have no strength. I am a failure. The thing is, like any addict, if you truly want to get over your addiction, you have to get away from that which you are addicted to. If you are addicted to alcohol, you just can't go hang out with your friends and watch them drink beer all day. My wife, who I would call a "casual sugar consumer," is not by any means addicted to sugar. However, I have discovered that she regularly makes sugary things--whether I like it or not. So, I have had to make a choice: leave her or try to muscle my way through life without sugar while she plops all sorts of amazing treats before my eyes. Since I really don't want to leave her (yes, I do love my wife despite all of the sugary temptations she throws my way), I have had to live in an environment where I am trying to not eat any sugar while sugar continues to be paraded around my house.
Anyway, I can blame Emily or Melanie or society generally all I want, but in the end, I ate a cupcake. The cupcake led to some little licorice candies, and that lead to other things, and the next thing you know, I am completely off the wagon. That cupcake was what I call a "gateway treat." You try it, and it leads you to more sugary things. Today, in a sugar-induced stupor, I am slowly trying to climb back on that wagon. It has been a sad week, but I am realizing that I still have choices. I made a mistake yesterday, but that doesn't mean I have to do the same today. The worst thing, though, is I have realized that I am back to living day-to-day--trying with every bit of effort to just make it one more day without a mistake.
2 comments:
Haha! You know I'm super-excited that it was my recipe...although I don't seem to remember it. :)
It's alright, the world hasn't ended, and you can start over. Of course I still hold to a little sugar is okay, for this very reason! It's too extreme and when you fail, you freak out. But if you start again, I'll promise to not send any new chocolate cupcake recipes to your awesome wife.
If it makes you feel any better, I haven't lost any weight this week even though I've been working really hard. :) And I'm drinking a sonic milkshake as a treat after installing hardwood floors all day. I'm pretty sure the 800 calories in this shake has erased my hard work. Ha!
Good luck with your new start! You can do it!
Where are you?? Did that cupcake destroy your entire game plan??
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