Finally! Groupon Sends Me Something I Can Use!

So, about a year ago, my wife told me I should sign up for Groupon because it had lots of good deals.  I am into good deals, so I did.  Let me say, as someone who has been getting daily (sometimes two or three times a day) emails from Groupon, I am not impressed.  Until, that is, today.  I have never purchased anything from Groupon that I have been able to use.  For example, I purchased a coupon to park at the airport once, but when I got there, the parking place refused to accept the coupon because it had apparently had too many Groupon customers that day.  Another time, I paid $45 dollars for a $90 gift card to a nursery to buy plants, but when I went there, there were literally no plants available (I mean literally, they had zero inventory). 

After that last experience, I vowed never to use Groupon again, but for some reason never bothered to put the emails in my "junk" folder.  (Incidentally, I am a plaintiff in a large class-action lawsuit with Groupon right now.  Before you begin thinking that means I am someone important, I am not.  I am just one of millions fed up with Groupon's dirty tactics.  For a really short article on the lawsuit, In re Groupon Inc. Marketing and Sales Practices Litigation, click here.)  Then today, it happened.  They brought out the big guns and introduced the Slendertone Abdominal Toner.  Here is what Groupon has to say about it:

With seven ab-firming programs and 99 intensity levels, the Slendertone abdominal toner fosters firmer cores over the course of 30-minute sessions. The belt’s medical-grade gel pads wrap around waists, gently encouraging muscles to contract and perform their best stone-wall impressions. Designed for discreet use, the slim belt hides under shirts, bathrobes, or champion prizefighting belts, allowing users to achieve discernible results in as little as 6–8 weeks.

This thing is the answer to all of us non-six packers out there.  All you have to do is strap this belt to your belly, and you will "achieve discernible results in as little as 6–8 weeks."  The thing only costs $120 and runs on three AAA batteries.  Awesome!  Just look at how these people look who use the Sledertone. 

No, you can't see their faces, but we both know they are smiling!  You better hurry though, there are only two days to order this amazing product.  If you aren't a Grouponer, give me a call or shoot me an email and I will forward the link.  Then, only six weeks to a six pack.