Day 82: Tipping the Scales Idea Four: Organ Donation

Alright, we are down to the second to last idea for weight loss shortly before your last weigh-in.  One thing people never think of are the things they don't see.  It is the classic out of sight, out of mind concept.  Today, I would like to open your mind to a possibility you may have never even thought about: organ donation and removal of excess, unnecessary organs.  Seriously, think about it.  How much extra weight have you been carrying around for no reason.  After a little research, look at what I have found (these numbers are based on male anatomy, women's organs weigh a little less (sorry ladies)):

• The average human liver is three pounds, yet some people donate a portion of their liver to help others.  If you donated a pound of your liver to someone in need, you will still have two-thirds of your liver left, and I think that is plenty. 
• As you know, we have two kidneys each.  Why?  Who knows, but they each weigh about five ounces.  Actually, the average left kidney weighs slightly more than the right, so I would suggest donation of the left kidney--every little bit counts, you know.
• Gall Bladders are actually hard to find information on.  All I could find is something that said they weigh 14 ounces, which seemed like it was way too much.  But then again, the Internet never lies, so it must be true.  I will assume that a 14 ounce gall bladder includes the bile that is stored in it, plus a few gall stones thrown in for good measure.  If you don't have any heavy duty gall stones, you probably can't claim the full 14 ounces. 
• If you are not morbidly obese, your appendix is only six ounces.  If you are morbidly obese, it could be up to six pounds.  If you have a six pound appendix, I think you have a problem that is bigger than just your weight.  (Actually, now that I think about it, you have a problem that is bigger than the laptop that I am writing this post on.)  Look folks, no one even knows what the appendix is for, though there is a good theory that has something to do with eating fern leaves and tree bark.  Get rid of it now before it gets rid of you.  Appendicitis is deadly, and there is no need to hold on to something that is just weighing you down.
• This next one probably only applies to a few of us.  The tonsils can weigh up to 2.5 ounces.  Again, this seems a little off, but I did find it on the Internet.  For those of you who have already gained this 2.5 ounces back after having your tonsils removed, all I can say is that you have blown it here.  You should have been watching your weight and squandered your opportunity to capitalize on the event.  I am sorry, I just have no sympathy for you.
• Finally, donate some blood.  This, of course, is something that you should be doing regularly anyway, so if you don't, you should be flogged (unless, of course, you are someone like my wife who is "underweight" and can't donate).  (I have to be honest, these people make me mad.  I mean, not only do they look great all the time, but then they somehow get a pass at being guilt tripped into getting a needle stuck into you and having to sit around watching blood pump its way out of your body.)  One pint of blood weighs approximately 1.1 pounds.  Isn't that amazing?  Who knew your blood weighed that much?  I have already scheduled my appointment with the American Red Cross.  What an easy way to lose 1.1 pounds!  Plus, they give you free donuts and Coca-cola when you are done!  Awesome!

So, if we add up all of these donations and removals, in one quick surgery (much of this work can be done laparoscopically, by the way), you can lose a total of about  3.1 pounds.  Not bad for something that I am sure will be covered by the new health care law.  Plus, if you have one of those morbidly obese appendixes, you can add another five pounds to that for a total of 8.1 pounds.  That is totally worth it!

One quick word on liposuction.  I know many of you thought of this procedure in the course of reading this post.  While I neither support nor condemn liposuction, I do feel like it is cheating to have liposuction on this diet because I am trying to change my lifestyle.  Liposuction takes care of the weight, but it does not take care of the lifestyle change.  So why is elective removal of organs or donation of organs different?  I don't know.  All I know is that it is different and that because this is my blog I don't have to give an explanation.  Plus, I have a little money left in my health savings plan and these kind of surgeries are covered.  Have a great recovery!