So, I previously reported the posters that were placed in various and sundry areas around my gym last fall. Well, the gym has updated. The posters have gone digital, and the slogans on them have changed. Unfortunately, I can't take pictures of the screen shots as they flash across the 200-odd television sets in the gym too fast, but I did get down the different slogans, which I have listed below. The new pictures are just as obnoxious as the old ones (see Day 31 for examples).
Ride it like you stole it--This slogan is accompanied by a picture of three men riding those bikes you use in a spinning class. They look way too happy to have just stolen a bike, but maybe they are really centered, enlightened thieves. If I had just stolen a bike, I would be looking behind me so often I would probably run into a car or something, destroying the bike and getting caught.
Smiling is optional, finishing is not--I have got to think that this is a direct result of people complaining about the old posters that they put up (again, please see Day 31 for examples). The people smiling in those old posters just made you mad as you walked by, because no out of shape person smiles wider than they did at their wedding when they are trying to lift 50 pounds while kicking their legs into the air to African music. Anyway, even though the people pictured with this slogan are way to happy to be in a spinning class, I guess that now I don't have to feel obligated to smile when I am working out, which is a huge relief.
Fitness is a battle, welcome to the front line--Okay, this one I just can't think of anything witty to say about. It is just kind of dumb, I think. Personally, I just don't see how working out is like shooting at the enemy while the enemy is shooting at you. I suppose that there is a risk of death when exercising, but to be honest, I just don't see the connection.
Tell it to your mirror--This features three women dressed in what I can only describe as "hip-hop garb" doing interesting dance moves. They really look like they should be on a female rap star's music video. These ladies are seriously just scary looking. I have absolutely no idea what it is they are supposed to be telling their mirror, but a part of me doesn't want to know.
Be the calm in the storm--Okay, this one isn't so bad, and shows a bunch of people doing Yoga. I am into that. I have no problem with people being calm as a result of doing yoga.
If you are looking for rock hard, welcome to the quarry--Alright, this one is awesome and is my favorite one. I, of course, go to the quarry six days a week. At this point, I have done this consistently for six months. I would say that I am not rock hard, but more, mossy growing on a stone slab. In other words, kind of soft on top, but "rock hard" down below. It does not provide much solace to know this, but hey, I am getting there.
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