The Reason You Do Not Go and Get an Ice Cream Cone at Nathan's Dairy Barn When You Feel Depressed Because Your Whole Family Is Gone and You Are Moving in Two Weeks and Your House Hasn't Sold

The reason is not very complex:  you get in a car accident.  Yes folks.  I had just treated myself to a Black Raspberry Sherbet/Vanilla Twist Ice Cream Cone from my favorite ice cream establishment and was lazily returning home when I was rear-ended.  This just goes to show two things:  (1) you will ALWAYS be punished for eating something that you shouldn't eat; and (2) the only thing worse than not eating something you shouldn't eat is buying the thing you shouldn't eat, taking two licks of it, and then having to watch it melt in the broiling Virginia sun as you exchange insurance information and wait for a police officer to come fill out a report.